We’ve all had moments when our minds latch onto a worry and just won’t let go. Maybe it’s replaying a conversation over and over, imagining worst-case scenarios, or feeling like you have to solve a problem right now. When this happens, it’s easy to get stuck in what’s called an anxiety spiral or loop of obsessive thoughts. Many people try things that feel helpful in the moment—like Googling symptoms, asking for constant reassurance, or trying to force the thoughts away—but these strategies often backfire and make the spiral stronger. The good news is that there are healthier, evidence-based ways to step out of the loop and calm your mind. Below, you’ll find several practical techniques you can try, along with simple examples of how they might look in everyday life.
1. Practice Mindful Awareness
Instead of trying to get rid of the thought, notice it with curiosity and without judgment. Mindfulness helps you step back and see that a thought is just a thought, not a fact or command.
Example: You notice yourself thinking, “What if I embarrassed myself at work?” Instead of replaying the scenario, you say to yourself, “There’s my worry showing up again,” and return to what you were doing.
2. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)
ERP is a type of therapy that helps people face their fears without performing rituals or compulsions. It involves gradually exposing yourself to anxiety triggers and resisting the urge to neutralize the fear. Over time, your brain learns that the feared outcome doesn’t happen—or that you can tolerate the uncertainty. By putting ourselves in triggering situations and not recoiling from the distress they may cause, we send a message to our mind that this situation can be confronted instead of avoided. The more we do this, the better our brain learns that these situations are in fact ‘false alarms’ and the more we confront them, the more resilient we will become.
Example: If someone feels the need to check the stove ten times, ERP might involve leaving the house after checking only once and tolerating the anxiety until it lessens on its own.
3. Label the Spiral
Naming what’s happening can give you a sense of control and perspective. Saying to yourself, “I’m in an anxiety spiral right now” separates you from the experience and reminds you that this is a temporary mental state.
Example: Instead of thinking, “I’ll never stop worrying,” you tell yourself, “This is my anxiety spiral talking. It will pass.”
4. Limit Reassurance Seeking
It’s natural to want reassurance when you’re anxious, but asking others for constant confirmation feeds the cycle of doubt. Instead, practice tolerating the discomfort of not knowing for sure.
Example: Rather than texting a friend for the fifth time to ask, “Are you mad at me?” you sit with the uncertainty and redirect your attention to another activity.
5. Ground Yourself in the Present
Obsessive thoughts pull you into the “what ifs” of the future or the regrets of the past. Grounding techniques anchor you in the here and now, reducing the intensity of the spiral.
Example: You use the “5-4-3-2-1” method—name five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste—to bring your focus back to the present.
6. Schedule Worry Time
Instead of battling your worries all day, set aside a short, specific time to think them through. This practice helps contain the anxious thoughts so they don’t spill over into every part of your life.
Example: When a worry arises at work, you say, “I’ll think about this at 7 p.m. during my worry time,” and return your focus to your task.
7. Self-Compassion Practices
Anxiety spirals often come with harsh self-criticism (“Why can’t I just stop thinking this way?”). Practicing self-compassion shifts the tone of your inner dialogue and reduces shame, which helps calm the nervous system.
Example: Instead of berating yourself for worrying, you say, “It makes sense I’m anxious right now—this is hard for me. I can be kind to myself while I work through it.”
8. Try Inquiry (The Work of Byron Katie)
Inquiry is a method of questioning stressful thoughts to loosen their grip. Instead of automatically believing every anxious thought, you gently ask: “Is this true? Can I absolutely know it’s true?” Then you explore how you react when you believe the thought and what your life would be like without it. This process helps create distance from obsessive thinking and invites more balanced perspectives.
Example: When the thought arises, “Something terrible will happen if I don’t double-check,” you ask, “Is that absolutely true?” You may notice that the fear is a story, not a certainty, and you gain freedom to make a calmer choice.
Obsessive thoughts and anxiety spirals can feel exhausting, but they are not permanent, and you don’t have to handle them alone. By practicing strategies like mindfulness, ERP, grounding, and self-compassion, you can gradually reduce the power of anxiety and reclaim peace of mind.
If you find yourself feeling trapped in obsessive loops or anxiety spirals, therapy can provide tools and support to help you move forward. In my psychotherapy practice in Sacramento and El Dorado Hills, I work with teens and adults to manage obsessive thoughts and anxiety with proven, effective approaches.
Consider Trying this Mindfulness Exercise: Leaves on a Stream
This practice comes from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and is designed to help you notice your thoughts without getting tangled up in them. Instead of trying to stop your thoughts, you practice watching them come and go—like leaves floating down a stream.
Try this:
- Find a quiet spot. Sit comfortably, close your eyes if you like, and take a few slow breaths.
- Picture a gentle stream. Imagine clear water flowing by, with soft ripples.
- Visualize leaves. Picture leaves floating one by one on the surface of the water.
- Place thoughts on the leaves. Each time a thought comes to mind—whether it’s a worry, a memory, or even “this isn’t working”—gently place it on a leaf and let it drift down the stream.
- Return when distracted. Your mind may wander, and that’s okay. Each time you notice, bring your focus back to the stream and place the next thought on a leaf.
- Practice for a few minutes. You don’t have to get rid of your thoughts—you’re just learning to observe them, let them pass, and remind yourself they are not permanent or all-powerful.
Example: You start thinking, “What if I mess up tomorrow’s presentation?” You place that thought on a leaf, watch it float away, and then notice the next thought arrive, doing the same.
This simple exercise helps you step back from obsessive thinking and realize that your thoughts are not facts—they are just passing experiences in your mind.
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I love seeing teens and adults in my psychotherapy practice! If you are a California resident and would like to talk about working with me or to having me counsel your teen, please contact me, I’d love to hear from you. I have an office in Sacramento, an office in El Dorado Hills, and I also provide tele-health (video or phone appointments) through a secured platform. In addition to talk therapy, I also am trained in and practicing EMDR for 15 years. Find out more and contact me through my website at http://www.hopeintherapy.com or call or text my business cell at (916) 764-8360.
RELATED ARCHIVED BLOG POSTS:
Learn more about why it helps to turn toward your anxiety instead of avoiding it: https://hopeintherapy.com/2025/05/20/moving-toward-anxiety/
Do a deeper dive into “Inquiry” or “The Work of Byron Katie” as referenced in today’s blog as a way to get freedom from our stressful thoughts: https://hopeintherapy.com/2024/02/22/freedom-from-our-stressful-thoughts-finding-flexibility-in-our-anxious-minds/
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