Caring For Yourself During a Busy Season
The holiday season is sometimes described [by Hallmark] as the most wonderful time of the year—but for many people, it can also feel overwhelming, stressful, or lonely. Between gatherings, financial pressures, and busy schedules, it’s easy to lose sight of self-care. For those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, the holidays can be especially painful, as traditions and celebrations may highlight your loved ones’ absence.
As a therapist, I try to remind clients that it’s possible to both care for your emotional well-being and honor or celebrate the season. Here are some holiday mental health tips to help you hopefully navigate this time with more peace.
1. Boundary Setting Can Help Prevent and Manage Holiday Stress
It’s okay to say “no”. Overcommitting can lead to exhaustion and resentment. Choose the events and traditions that feel most meaningful and let go of the rest. Creating boundaries allows you to protect your time, energy, and emotional balance. Sometimes scheduling a gathering for January or February instead, when you may have more free time, is also a good way to go.
2. Sticking to a Budget When Dealing With Possible Financial Pressures or Overspending
Gift-giving can add unnecessary pressure. Remember that your presence, thoughtfulness, and connection matter more than any price tag. You might want to consider creative, lower-cost options such as homemade gifts, shared experiences, or family activities.
It may also help relieve pressure if you have open conversations about holiday spending with family or friends. Letting others know your budget or suggesting alternatives like a gift exchange, potluck meals, or shared experiences can relieve financial strain for everyone. Most people appreciate honesty and may even feel relieved when someone else speaks up about the pressure of overspending. By talking openly, you model healthy boundaries and help create traditions that focus on connection rather than consumerism.
Here are a few gentle ways you might start these conversations:
- “This year I’m trying to simplify the holidays a bit. Would you be open to doing a ‘secret santa’ style or ‘white elephant’ gift exchange instead of buying for everyone?”
- “I’d love to spend time together without stressing about gifts. How about can we plan a fun outing instead of exchanging gifts or doing an elaborate meal?” or “[same first part] How about can we plan to do something together in January after things settle down a bit?”
- “I’m keeping things on a tighter budget this year. I hope it’s okay if we keep gifts simple and just focus on being together.”
These kinds of conversations can feel vulnerable at first, but they often open the door to more meaningful, less stressful celebrations.
3. Stick to Your Normal, Healthy Routines When Possible
The holidays can disrupt sleep, eating, and exercise patterns. While it’s natural to indulge a bit, try to maintain balance. Adequate rest, movement, and balanced meals help regulate mood and reduce stress.
4. Navigating Grief During the Holidays
For those grieving, the holidays can feel tender and bittersweet. Holiday time can also tend to bring up more reminders of loved ones who have passed on, whether that was last year or 40+ years ago. Here are a few ways to support yourself through this season:
- Acknowledge your feelings: It’s okay to feel sadness, anger, or joyful feelings while you are grieving during this season. All emotions are valid.
- Honor your loved one: Light a candle, share a favorite story, or cook a dish they loved as a way to include their memory.
- Give yourself permission to adjust traditions: You may not have the energy to celebrate the way you used to—and that’s okay. Create new rituals that fit where you are now. Every year does not have to be the same. Just because you decide on one thing this year doesn’t mean you can’t change it up for next year.
- Seek connection and support: Whether through friends, family, a support group, or therapy, sharing your grief can ease feelings of isolation. So many are dealing with these feelings being magnified by holiday times.
5. Handling Difficult Family Relationships
Sometimes the holidays are times when you are around certain family members whom you don’t see much if at all the rest of the year. Family gatherings can bring joy and connection, but they can also stir up old patterns, unresolved conflicts, or stressful dynamics. Here are some strategies to help:
- Set realistic expectations: It may be unfortunate but it may be a reality that certain relatives may not change. What you have control over is how you want to respond.
- Take breaks when needed: Make time to go outside for a walk, call a friend, or find a quiet space to regroup periodically throughout the day. Pro tip: sometimes hanging out with the [youngest] kids is a great reprieve from the adult interactions.
- Anchor yourself in allies: Try to spend more time with your supportive relatives or friends at gatherings, and limit interactions with those who drain you.
- Have an exit plan: If things become too heated or overwhelming, give yourself permission to leave early. Things like bringing your own vehicle to a gathering may allow you more freedom to leave when you prefer, versus having to negotiate it when driving with others.
- Choose your battles: Not every comment or disagreement may need a reply. Sometimes walking away or redirecting the conversation is the healthiest option for yourself in the situation and/or based on past experiences with this particular person.
By preparing ahead, you can protect your peace and make more intentional choices about how you engage.
You can find even more tips on navigating difficult people in my archived blog: https://hopeintherapy.com/2023/05/16/dealing-with-difficult-people-tips-for-events-where-there-will-be-people-you-find-to-be-difficult/
7. Reach Out if You’re Struggling
The holidays can stir up complex emotions. You don’t have to navigate this season alone. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, talking with a mental health professional can help.
WANT MORE?
If you think it might be time to set an appointment for yourself or your teen, please contact me, I’d love to hear from you. I have an office in Sacramento, an office in El Dorado Hills, and I also provide tele-health (video or phone appointments) through a secured platform. In addition to talk therapy, I also am trained in and have been practicing EMDR for 15 years. Find out more and contact me through my website at www.hopeintherapy.com or call or text my business cell at (916) 764-8360.
Find mental health friendly holiday gift ideas from this blog from my archives: https://hopeintherapy.com/2022/11/25/mental-health-friendly-holiday-gift-ideas/
Do you think you get more depressed during the Winter months? Check out this blog from my archives, on tips for seasonal depression: https://hopeintherapy.com/2022/10/18/do-you-get-depressed-during-fall-and-winter-months/
You can find even more tips on navigating difficult people [whom you may find at your holiday dinner table] in my archived blog: https://hopeintherapy.com/2023/05/16/dealing-with-difficult-people-tips-for-events-where-there-will-be-people-you-find-to-be-difficult/
Check out my holiday tips from last year/ click here for even more tips, a blog from my archives: https://hopeintherapy.com/2024/11/26/how-to-manage-the-holidays-maybe-even-enjoy-them/
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